Top 5 Best Selling iPad Apps for Hard Times

 App #1

Garbage Grab Gourmet

[Humiliatingly] Free

Description

Just because the U.S. social safety net has completely failed you and you’ve hit rock bottom doesn’t mean your palette has to suffer. 

From the dumpster to your streetlamp-wired hot plate to a finished epicurean feast that will satisfy the most discerning of distended stomachs, Garbage Grab Gourmet teaches you how to turn ingredients scrounged from every day trash into fine dining on the go.  

Gourmet Recipes Include:

·         * Lemon Skin Braised Crunchy Chicken Ribs with Squishy Tomato Glaze

·         * Chilean Cow Fat Flambé in Roasted Watermelon Rinds

·         * Runny Flan Apple Core Surprise

What the Celebrity Chefs are saying about Garbage Grab Gourmet:

“I once ate the raw scrotum of a Bangkok river rat served to me on a bamboo skewer, but even I wouldn’t touch this stuff… Hey, fuck you - coming from me that’s a compliment.”  - Anthony Bourdain

“I may be dead, but I’m not as dead as some of the ingredients you’ll use in Garbage Grab Gourmet … Bon Appetite!”  - Julia Child

“365 days, 365 garbage cans, no repeats - this is gonna’ be the next big thing in real American cooking.”  - Rachel Ray

Top 5 Best Selling iPad Apps for Hard Times

 App #2 

Prostitutipedia HD

$*

Description

The definitive App for the desperate career enthusiast facing a shrinking mass of traditional vocational choices.  

Prostitutipedia is the ultimate compendium of ways for you to sell your body in the face of economic hardships.

DID YOU KNOW THAT…?

-       A single testicle can fetch up to $10,000 on the black market!

-       Jazz whistlers in Tokyo will pay you for your saliva!

-       Some Saudi Arabian business men will write a blank check for just ten minutes of sex with you and a blood relative of your choice!

-       Your toenail clippings can fetch up to $400 an ounce from the right foot fetishist!

-       New trade agreements with the EU no longer make it a crime for American’s abroad to attempt to sell human organs removed under a doctor’s supervision!

-       Many pornographers work from home and pay NO State sales tax!

-       In some Mexican brothels you don’t even have to have teeth to get hired!

HD FEATURES MAKE IT REAL

• Select from over 1000 legal and illegal schemes with pictures and video that show you what’s in store for you  
•  Upload your own pictures and graphics and then cut and paste yourself into the action
•  Filter categories and career opportunities to find the least distasteful choice that’s right for you
• Search thousands of prospects, organizations and syndicates looking for you and your body parts - Pimp My BodÒ feature lets’ you name your price 
•  100% Guaranteed “Happy Ending” or your money back

★ MAKES A GREAT GIFT FOR THAT RECENT GRAD

★ WINNER OF THE 2011 RNC ‘AMERICAN PLUCK’ AWARD!

* You’re not a cop are you?

Top 5 Best Selling iPad Apps for Hard Times

App #3

“Foreclose This” Pro

Free*

Description

The bankers are coming for the house; but you’ve got a plan …and a shotgun to go with it.

THE LENDERS DONE YOU WRONG!

You had a credit score so low your own mother wouldn’t lend to you … but the bank gave you a mortgage anyway.

You told ‘em you couldn’t afford to pay it back, but they laughed and told you they’d take it easy on you with interest-only payments and an adjustable rate loan that you could take “a hundred years” to pay off if you wanted to.

So you signed on the dotted line and that’s when you found out that you and the entire country were about to take a fall.

WHO’S LAUGHING NOW!

Get comfortable on your pixilated weed-infested, unfinished circular driveway and WATCH THOSE LENDER’S FACES as you take aim when they pull up with the sheriff.

Enjoy 360 degree range of fire with REALISTIC SHELL EJECTION and DOUBLE BARREL SOUND.

FIRE ENDLESSLY in practice mode as lenders duck, dance and crawl for cover.

CHOOSE from debt-forgiveness and hostage styles of play.

Join the fun online and CREATE A VIRTUAL ARMY with millions of other angry ex-home owners all over the U.S. and all fantasizing about getting even.

Pro Version Add-Ons Include

• Bonus Pack with over 10 million foreclosed homes to choose from

• Hyper-link to Real Estate Agent Business Card Picture Target Galler

• Unscrupulous Contractor Slave Chamber with realistic hammer and tong

• Federal Home Own Bailout Button with sarcastic clown laugh and pop up, middle finger, “F You And Your Bailout” repeating action

* No money down – Buyer assumes all taxes, assessments and penalty fees, interest only for 10 day trial period with $250,000 principle payment due 11 days after signing  -  Sponsored by United  Usurers  of America, LLC; Member IMF, FHA, FHLMC, FDIC, NRA, NJ Teamster Local 883 and Federated Casino Workers of Greater Singapore.